after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
