last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
areolas are like halos for boobs.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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