This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
