she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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