btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
