True but thats because hes a fetus.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
