just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I woke up under a house in Key West
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
