I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
