he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
