If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
