What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
