"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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