I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
