Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
