yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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