your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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