I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize