ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
