I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
