Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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