wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Terrible idea I love it
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
