youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
