First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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