a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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