Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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