i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
