He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize