Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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