he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
