is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize