im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
