Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
