OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
