I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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