Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
