Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
