I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Randomize
