I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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