Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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