is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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