Sponge bath it is.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
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i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
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We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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