Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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