I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
