I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize