I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
