fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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