I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
