Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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