Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
