Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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