I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize