all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
