God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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