dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
