he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
