im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
