I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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