theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
