He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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