I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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