Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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