hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Randomize
